Lindsey's Story: Breaking Down Stereotypes

"Hello friends. I am very happy that today I can share with you a story from a good friend of mine's fiance, Lindsey Moss. I think you will really enjoy her words and will be impressed by her openness and honesty about her diagnoses. This is exactly what we need to break down the stigmas that surround Mental Health disabilities and all other disabilities for that matter. Enjoy and please pass this on. And if you have a story of your own to share, please feel free to send it to yeshuawing@gmail.com.
Thanks for sharing your heart Lindsey!"

I was diagnosed with depression, generalized anxiety, and ADHD my sophomore year of high school. I was one of those students who was in the top of the class and didn't have to study or even really pay attention to get good grades but I always had a difficult time connecting with other kids. My interests were all over the board so I didn't feel like I fit in anywhere and I also had impulse control issues that came out when I was trying to talk to people. I would often hurt peoples' feelings because I would say mean things without truly realizing what I said and that someone was hurt because of it. I started taking advanced placement classes in 10th grade and that is when I realized that something was really off. I was having an incredibly hard time in class, almost to the point of failing my classes, and I didn't know what was wrong. I was one of the 'smart kids' so it was incredibly difficult to get any help from my teachers. I was also having suicidal thoughts, major insomnia problems and major mood swings. It took me going to my school counselor and finally telling him all of this before I was able to start getting the help that I needed from my family. The school really didn't do much to help me besides talk to my parents the one time. I went and saw a children's therapist where I was given my diagnoses. I went through family therapy with my parents to help with our communication because we were fighting constantly and there was always tension in the household.

I struggled throughout the rest of high school because I wasn't doing too much to actually manage the problems except for taking some medications and doing a little bit of therapy. I ended up graduating 10th in my class and was accepted into a private college with many scholarships.

It wasn't until a few years later in college and after a major breakup that I really started doing research and soul-searching to understand what was going on. I started seeing some new people who got me on new medications and got me into some more personal therapy. I went off my medications for a while and it started to show in my school work. I struggled immensely and, again, was on the verge of failing. I was really depressed, which was causing me to have sleep issues again, and I couldn't force myself to study or even really take care of myself beyond the very basics. I got back on my medications and started doing little things to help myself, such as learning meditation and relaxation techniques, learning study and focusing techniques, and putting myself in new situations to help with my social anxiety. Making myself go new places by myself had a positive outcome, because I met my fiance at a place that I normally would have been too scared to go to. It has been very difficult and I have lost some jobs over my focus and impulse issues. I had a complete anxiety meltdown at one of my jobs that required me to go on medical leave for a week. Another time I lost my job over my ADHD and I broke down, went into a deep depression, and wanted to give up on everything. I did an outpatient therapy group for 12 weeks that changed my life. I felt like I could open up completely and for once, I didn't feel like I had to hide any part of my personality. I was surrounded by people who understood exactly what I was going through and it was amazing to not feel alone. If I could go back to this group, I would do it in a heartbeat. Going through this group made me really realize the importance of educating people who don't understand mental disorders and gave me the passion to do that wherever I could.

I still struggle with my disorders on a daily basis. It very often puts strain on my relationships, especially with my fiance, because he has never been around any of this. I understand this and I do what I can to try and help him not be confused or scared of these things. He has done very well, and it especially shows when I have an anxiety attack. He is there for me no matter what. I have my good days and my bad days, but I have surrounded myself with people who are positive influences on my life. I try to play to my strengths and understand my weaknesses, so that I can be as successful and happy as I can. I love animals, a big heart, and a fairly strong stomach, so I became a veterinary technician. I have a Associates in Applied Sciences in veterinary technology, a vocal music minor and half a B.S. in Psychology. I am proud of what I have done despite the roadblocks, setbacks, and walls that have been thrown in front of me. I am not ashamed of what I have to go through and am actually very open about it with people. I understand that this is something that can't be 'cured', only managed, and that it will be a lifelong struggle, and all I can do is make the most of it.